Thursday, 16 April 2015

Tool kit for Getting back up

Last week I was finishing my last research papers and prepping for finals with aspirations of walking across a long awaited graduation stage. This weekend I was seen at a walk-in clinic presenting with lost weight due to not keeping food down all week, nausea, and pain, but the main concern with being pregnant was the lost weight. After I pointed to the pain the Dr sent me to the emerg as I had appendicitis, the pain was not phenomenal at first, but like the gallbladder incident I don't notice until its late in the game. Thus, at 3 am sunday morning I had a freak appendectomy and it sucked. Being 19 weeks pregnant its just not cool. At one point they had me on some IV pain killers and I broke out in hives, but only on one arm, the one wrapped around my stomach when I pulled it away to itch it, I felt the shock of Moses as I looked down at my diseased limb... But life happens nothing you can do to change it. We switched med's, and got the surgery as it was the best option. Now I look at the future weeks and I need a literal help getting up as muscles are weakened and theres the possibility of infection. This week things look different, graduation may or may not go on without me, I may or may not be capable of taking exams soon enough, it really sucks. But the important things haven't changed I'm alive, my baby's still safe and well, for these things we give thanks and with hope we get back up.

When dealing with mass amounts of pain on a daily basis it feels similar to being a gymnast you grow used to the pain, and the constant falling. You have a few good days where you can reach the higher bars and then sometimes you wind up and swing to reach and fall hard. "If you like falling gymnastics is the sport for you, you get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees, and your pride!"(a quote from a gymnastics movie) I feel like I can relate a lot to falling, as I have shown throughout this blog I fall alot, but the one thing that pain also teaches you is how vital it is to keep getting back up. 

The first few falls you may feel you'll never recover from but the most important thing about pain is how you respond to it. You always have the choice to get back up, to say to yourself, "Ok maybe today sucks, but this is not how my story ends, tomorrow will be better." Or more relevantly, "So this isn't how I saw my week going, and it really sucks, but we will get back up eventually." Pain teaches perseverance in such a dire and fundamental way, that it makes it a life dependant skill. There is a great deal of pain in our world, but there is also hope, and we need to hold on to that. There are great stories of Vikor Frankl, Joni Eareckson Tada, Philip Yancey and of many others who have shown how to suffer well, how to get back up and it is largely due to their influence that I feel learning to get back up is perhaps the most important skill you can learn in your life.

Thus a good survival kit for a bad pain day should include a some John Oliver who's hilarious view of the world should bring some giggles, a few funny pinterest boards that make you laugh, or inspirational boards to keep you going and if you need it a book on suffering that through reading others experiences may bring some wisdom to what you deal with it.

~Elysia B 


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